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Post by Jessica on Feb 19, 2013 22:59:22 GMT -5
Alright, well, sheesh. It's like 4 AM and I have a bunch of essays to grade before tomorrow, but I'd like to actually get a confessional in.
I was pretty annoyed by the first challenge, if only because I could actually have been here at 10 o'clock, and would've been the hero for showing up and taking the last slot when Adam didn't show up, but I didn't, because I figured that if I showed up and one of the brawn people botched their task, I would look bad for claiming that I couldn't be here when I could.
So, as a result, I avoided the boards and played Surgery Simulator 2013 instead. (If you've never played it, you are missing out on life.)
To my complete horror, when I showed up that night, we'd already lost the challenge in less than an hour. (Not to mention Surgery Simulator refused to let me win, even after I went to all the trouble of putting the patient's heart and lungs back in, so I was forced to kill him with a bonesaw.) This kind of thing always happens to me when I try to play the game on a metaphysical level. (The challenge loss, I mean. Not the blatant malpractice/murder). I worry about some tiny mostly inconsequential thing, because it's exactly what some evil devious bastard would use to destroy me; then it turns out that by avoiding the tiny mostly inconsequential thing I wind up in bigger trouble for some other reason, and because nobody's dredged the depths of devious bastardry to the depths that I have, nobody would ever have noticed the tiny mostly inconsequential thing in the first place.
In a surprisingly bold move for someone who hates everyone as much as I do, I decided to just PM my entire team to see what they were thinking. All of them were thinking Adam, except for Adam himself. I considered coming up with a quote about how ironic it was that the first man being voted off was also the first man... like, ever. The first man. Adam. And Eve. That first man. But it kept coming out awkward so I didn't, and wrote this awkward confessional about it instead. Rest assured, it would have made a killer episode title if I'd done it right.
In luckier news, apparently Ian and Vincent were also royally torqued about how the challenge went down, and we decided to make an alliance to smite all of the people who think they're better than us, based on stupid, trivial things like demonstrably being better than us. As you can tell, I'm not really enthused about having an alliance that is literally based around the fact that we're losers, but it's better than nothing. Probably.
It sucks even more for us because the next challenge doesn't involve any kind of strength, so now we didn't even get a chance to redeem ourselves going into the next tribal council. It's popularity-based, though, so I might actually have a shot. I will laugh really hard if it turns out that I win Immunity despite never having actually done anything to deserve it. Suck on that, Causality!
Anyway, moving right along. We're looking at getting Karla and Yvette to join us, which will make for interesting times. As it turns out, I actually know Karla from another forum, so we instantly made a final two alliance. Those of you familiar with my stance on pregame alliances will feel completely justified in burning me at the stake for that, but I'll point out three things.
1) It's not a pregame because neither of us knew the other was applying. 2) I'm a shifty person who will dump allies in a hot second if it gets me one round further, so it's not like it's a game-breaker. 3) I don't really care.
For what it's worth, I'd probably have made a final two with Karla for reasons that have literally nothing to do with the game and everything to do with something hilarious about my real life, so that was a happy coincidence.
I'm also Freddie's favorite person ever, and Vincent's favorite person ever, and one of Ian's favorite people ever, so apparently I'm just like the most ineffectual lesbian of all time. I guess that just goes to show that guys want what they can't have, or something.
Yvette is the lucky fifth in this alliance, probably because Ian loves her and she looks a little bit like Taylor Swift. That'd be a great reason for Jessica to lesbo up to her, but she's more of a Celt-punk fan, I decided, so she's probably not a big fan of the T-Swift angle. I'm cool with working with her, though, because I like the name Yvette, and she seems like the kind of person who I could work well with right up until it's time for her to tragically get voted off for reasons that I'll pretend I knew nothing about until it was far too late.
The other problem with having an alliance of losers is that we're now in a prime position to vote off all of our strong people on purpose, which is a little bit like trying to captain a boat by throwing all of your oarsmen to the sharks. Of course, I could always attempt to change things around, but then I'd be betraying my alliance, and goshdarnit, I'm tired of all of the people who call me a lying, deceiving cuntwaffle being so darn right.
Also, in other news, Chase tried to seduce me in the chat today. He wasn't able to figure out why the lesbian wasn't interested, which just goes to show that you should always follow the wise words of Confucius, who once said, "You should always read people's confessionals before you attempt to have sex with them."
So, yeah, that's round two. If I feel particularly creative, I'll start writing about Cascade camp life in a narrative fashion, like I did last season. No promises, though.
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Post by Host on Feb 20, 2013 20:33:03 GMT -5
Round 2 Hey Jessica! Got a few questions for you.
1. Who do you trust the most? 2. Who do you consider your other "core allies"? 3. How are the tribe dynamics stratified? 4. Who do you want to see gone the most?
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Post by Tinasaurus on Feb 21, 2013 2:43:45 GMT -5
[Jessica] Aww, see, that was just getting fun [TinaPW] My messages aren't sending [TinaPW] help [Jessica] But I'm afraid we can't have sex, Chase. [Jessica] You see [Jessica] I'm in love [TinaPW] help [Jessica] With... [Jessica] TINA. [ChasePW] omg! [TinaPW] My messages aren't sending [Jessica] But you can't tell her [TinaPW] help [TinaPW] help [TinaPW] help [Jessica] She must never find out about this [Jessica] If she ever figures it out [ChasePW] Why doesn't she ever talk when she comes in? [Jessica] I will be SO embarrassed [TinaPW] HELP ME [TinaPW] I'M TRYING [ChasePW] She just comes and leaves all the time [TinaPW] I'M TRYING TO TALK [TinaPW] HELP [Jessica] Without ever saying anything [Jessica] It's weird [TinaPW] HELLO [ChasePW] TinaPW [TinaPW] HI [ChasePW] You there? [TinaPW] YES [TinaPW] I AM [TinaPW] HELP ME
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Post by Jessica on Feb 21, 2013 2:45:09 GMT -5
What? You were saying stuff? Weird.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 21, 2013 3:49:38 GMT -5
It sucks even more for us because the next challenge doesn't involve any kind of strength, so now we didn't even get a chance to redeem ourselves going into the next tribal council. It's popularity-based, though, so I might actually have a shot. I will laugh really hard if it turns out that I win Immunity despite never having actually done anything to deserve it. Suck on that, Causality!Prescience in full. Anyway, I was quite happy to win the challenge, because it means that I won't be completely screwed over by the chat's arbitrary decision to lock me out. I reinstalled flash something like 20 times, and if it happens again my next best shot is to do a full-blown system restore to try and correct whatever the hell is going on there. I've managed to get on three times, once when I could only be online for like twenty minutes, and twice when it was past midnight and everybody else was in bed. So I'm not feeling great going forward, especially since my alliance of losers has decided to add "laziness" to their core values. Ian and Vincent apparently realize the extreme need to get Karla and Yvette on board with us, but for some reason it literally never occurred to the two of them that actually telling Karla and Yvette that they were interested in an alliance was a good idea. I can't tell if they're dumb and lazy, or they're brilliantly attempting to play me by setting up myself, Karla, and Yvette as a threesome who need to be destroyed. Either way, I'm hedging my bets by shoring up an alliance with Freddie. He's a great backup, and I feel like he's going to be loyal for the long haul. If me, him, Karla, and Yvette get together, we could do some stompin'. In order to make that happen, however, that means that Steph unfortunately has to die next round. I don't care if she's active, fact of the matter is that she's completely useless to me by dint of being tied to Perry, and it's better for my game if she's gone. Now that I've rambled on a bit in my own way, let's get to those questions that God is shouting down upon me from the heavens. QUESTION NUMBER ONE: Who does Jessica trust the most?Karla. Absotively, posilutely. Beyond that, I trust Freddie quite a bit, and I have a decent amount of trust in Ian and Vincent, but I'm not naive enough to think that they won't cut my throat if it turns out that I'm a bit too much for them to handle. QUESTION NUMBER TWO: Who does Jessica consider her other "core allies"?I fail to understand this question. Why would my core allies be anybody but the people I trust? If I give an answer to this question that's different from my answer to question one, that will be proof positive that I am a fool. Consider your hidden sneaky intelligence test passed, God! QUESTION NUMBER THREE: How are the tribe dynamics stratified?Apparently I'm at the top. I was trying for third, though, which just goes to show that either I'm just so awesome that when I attempt to be third best I still wind up first, or else it goes to show that everybody else sucks so much that what would be third best for any other tribe is first best on this one. Just below me are Ian and Vincent. They're playing strategically, albeit in a way that doesn't make sense from a rational perspective, which means they're either playing duplicitously for no apparent reason, or they're bad at this game. I can't tell which. Something about their instant connection makes me think that they have something going on that supercedes this game, so I will be very wary of them. Just below them are Perry and Steph. Perry's fairly unassailable; he was great in the first challenge as far as I know, and nobody wants him gone. He also got them to switch to Misty, which worries me a bit. When we inevitably boot Steph, it's going to cause friction. Yvette and Karla are next. Karla's my ally, and playing quite well, but she apparently didn't know what was happening this TC, or who our alliance was, so that's a bit annoying. Yvette is fairly quiet and just seems to go with the flow. Freddie is in a weird position, for me. He's obviously close to me, and wants to go to the end together, but it seems odd that he's putting that at the expense of relationships that are probably much more fruitful for him in the long run. I will try to take him to the end if I can, but my main allegiance is to Karla, and that's probably not gonna change unless she does something to deserve it. All of that being said, I'm probably disastrously wrong in my assessments of some of these people. I don't really care. QUESTION NUMBER FOUR: Who does Jessica want to see gone the most?Lucifer. That guy's a DICK. If I'm not allowed to pick PWs... well, then I'd go with the entire Napa tribe. If I'm not allowed to pick them, I'd say... Misty. This is a barefaced lie, of course, but I have always seen the benefit of saying what the audience wants to hear.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 22, 2013 7:09:15 GMT -5
When I saw this challenge, I was trying really hard to decide how I felt about it. I'm an English major, and I absolutely love stretching my brain with this sort of thing, but then I remembered that in the last season, this challenge was essentially won on the first couple of words, so it's not so much about finding a lot of little words as it is about finding that one gigantic brute of a word that's going to win the challenge for you in one shot. So it's not so much about the actual wordplay, as getting seriously lucky with the one jackpot word, which essentially means that 99% of the brainpower I'd use on this challenge would be a waste.
I also wasn't really sure that I particularly wanted to win this one for the team. On the one hand, losing sucks. And putting on a good show here is definitely a great way to redeem myself for missing the first challenge. But on the other hand, I got put in kind of an awkward position last round with the social challenge win, so if I were to step up to the plate and belt out a home run here, there's really no way that I'm going to have any ammo left in the "I'm not a threat" gun.
But, then again, I did, y'know... throw this exact challenge last season, in part of my disastrously successful campaign to keep people from figuring out that I was a threat. And, of course, I went home for being useless (or whatever reason), because that's just how life goes. So after about zero seconds of considering the options, I decided to go right ahead and obliterate this sucker, because on the off chance that some Cascade out there was going, "Y'know, I think I'll randomly kill off Jessica lololol" I would have just had to sit down for a good cry, and then lie whenever anybody asked me if I'd ever played this series.
So, now that I've managed to keep that last little shred of dignity intact, and give a sizeable middle finger to the ghosts of my past, I'm seriously hoping that we manage to pull out a win. If we do, I hope I'll get to go death valley. It'd be cool to meet Lucifer. I'd ask him to turn into a snake for me. And then I would skoosh him, because for some reason the idea of a slightly-stupid lesbian stepping on the devil just makes me giggle. Of course, that's going to be sad times for me come the merge if we're down in numbers, which, darnit, just means that we have to win!
As a sidenote, I laughed really hard when I found out that the monster word was "chimneysweep", because I literally just finished grading a group of essays for a freshman English class, and several of them were writing on "The Chimney Sweeper" by William Blake.
In other news, I noticed that Death Valley lasts for six rounds, which makes me think that the merge is going to happen after that. So we would be down nine people, meaning that there's one who comes back from Purgatory, suggesting that the merge will be at twelve. That theoretically means that we need to make sure that we keep at least six people on the team. Ideally, that'd be me, Karla, Yvette, Ian, Vincent, and Freddie, because I could see us going the distance. If we can also get some of the DV rewards for ourselves, that'll be a big advantage. Luckily for us, Dallas is gone, so they probably only have one reward in play right now, held by Quincy.
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Post by wendy on Feb 23, 2013 18:28:00 GMT -5
Wendy's Question: In one word, describe your tribe's emotional state.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 23, 2013 19:33:04 GMT -5
"Salubrious"
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Post by Jessica on Feb 24, 2013 22:36:18 GMT -5
Ugh. Worst tribe swap ever.
I honestly am just in shock right now. I was in an amazing position with Cascade, and now suddenly I've got to fight for my life. The stupid Napas are gonna know that I'm the only one on Cascade who's been to Death Valley, so they're going to want to try and gun me down at the nearest opportunity. And the worst fricking part is that I didn't even get a reward for going there, so I basically am going to get targetted for the wrong reason.
Plus, y'know, I did kind of singlehandedly win us the challenge last round, so the FURSHLUGGINER word challenge might have managed to screw me over AGAIN. I don't know what the hell I ever did to that challenge to deserve this.
And of course this would happen during a double-TC round, so I don't even have the chance to convince Napa to ditch someone who's dead weight in challenges. I'm basically just playing my butt off so that I can scrape it through, because we have at least two judgments to attend before the merge, and if Quincy's DV reward gives him any kind of voting advantage, that's it, we're screwed. I tried the ol' "I don't want this to be about tribal lines" gambit, but no dice. My hope is that I can convince them to ditch Vincent or Perry before anything else happens, but maybe I'll get insanely lucky and we'll have another continental shift before things go too far south on me. I don't want to lose Karla, and I certainly don't want to get voted off premerge again, because I've been having a good time, and I want to actually get out there and kick butt.
So, yeah. I'm currently feeling like a fox who's just had the cage door opened, and now it'll be all I can do to outrun the hounds. It's gonna be a long run, through a lot of thorns and bushes and snares, but if I can just keep up the chase long enough, then I'll be okay. If not, then I'll be cold, wet, miserable, and dead.
AND OMG I JUST READ THE CHALLENGE. SO GLAD THAT ALL OF THAT IS OUT IN THE OPEN NOW. THANKS, GOD.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 26, 2013 1:10:37 GMT -5
Curse schmurse. Suck on that, Lucifer.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 26, 2013 6:14:06 GMT -5
After lengthy deliberations, I have decided that this shall be my anthem.
I may not be able to think of anything cool that starts with J in an attempt to resurrect the prematurely-collapsed Leah Legion, (best I could come up with was the Jessica Jamboree, and that just sounds retarded), but I can certainly provide an epic soundtrack.
Anyway, in case I don't get to confess tomorrow, here's a quick update.
Hannah came to me and Vincent today, and told us she's thinking about flipping. Now, to me, that's a pretty interesting thing for her to say, because according to Quincy she's very social and good at challenges, which makes me think that she might be pulling my leg. I know that Rosemary and Dallas were certainly more active than Wyatt, and it makes sense to me that there could have been an alliance shift going on. Hannah claims she was with the two of them, and was definitely next to go.
But Hannah's story is a bit like a solid gold toilet: interesting, and potentially valuable, but I'm not buying it.
There's something about how quickly she offered that information, then almost immediately backpedalled and wasn't sure what she was gonna do that makes me think that this might be an elaborate come-on. If so, props to her. It was a good idea to solidify our foursome, and make sure that we would all vote together. That way, if Quincy plays his DV reward, it won't be wasted, and they can pick us off one by one.
It seriously doesn't help that Karla's gone inactive. I wonder if Christmas got her. There have certainly been enough unpleasant blasts from past this game to make that a real, albeit incredibly disappointing, possibility.
My hope right now is that I can convince her that if she votes with us, we will vote Karla off next time - which I can't see anybody disagreeing with. I might also just sell Hannah straight up the river. After all, if they know she's disloyal, they might want to ditch her before the merge. All I know is, I plan to go for the gold in every challenge from here on in. When the going gets tough, the tough say "Meh," and kick the going in the balls.
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Post by Host on Feb 26, 2013 11:04:36 GMT -5
Hey Jessica, just a few questions for this round's judgement!
1. Who do you trust the most on your tribe? The least? 2. Who would you like to see go this round? 3. Do you think there's a chance of anyone flipping? 4. What's your strategy to get to the merge?
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Post by Jessica on Feb 26, 2013 18:52:27 GMT -5
Hey Jessica, just a few questions for this round's judgement!
Oh, hey God. Thanks for the questions. I'll answer them, but if you shout them out in front of everybody then that's the LAST time I'm talking to you.
1. Who do you trust the most on your tribe? The least?
I currently like Vincent the most, on account of him being the most loyal to me. I don't like Beau at ALL, because he's a socially dysfunctional turdbag. I do like Nick and Hannah quite a bit, even if I don't trust them as far as I can throw them. That's twice now that I've PMed Hannah about game stuff and she's just up and ignored me. Perry I also trust, but only because I don't really see him as being active enough to do anything evil.
2. Who would you like to see go this round?
I call this situation a Prisoner's Dilemma. If you're locked in prison and you get to choose whether you die by being eaten to death by ants or by slowly having sand poured down your throat until you suffocate, it's not really a choice. If we successfully ditch Quincy, well, then I'm a bitch for having told him I'd keep the target off of him. If they successfully ditch Karla, well, then I'm in a world of trouble.
3. Do you think there's a chance of anyone flipping?
Yes. I could see anybody flipping. Beau's trying to get Vince to flip, we're trying to get Hannah to flip, Karla may or may not have a bootlist, so there's a disconcertingly high probability that she'll flip on herself... Heck, at this point I'd flip if I thought there was any real benefit.
4. What's your strategy to get to the merge?
Well, it seems risky, but I'm going to go with the tried and true standard of winning Immunity to get there. There are two more challenges to go (probably) and I fully intend to win them. Gloria looks like a throwerbitch, so my guess is that if they successfully take out Ian (who I'm guessing is their main target) then they'll throw the next one, which I don't actually feel any guilt at all about. Then it's individual again, and goshdarnit, I'm going to win the hell out of that challenge.
I've decided that since I'm already an epic-level threat, the best thing I can do right now is to stop pretending I'm not one, and shift things into overdrive. See, according to game theory, there's a certain sense in which becoming a threat can actually be beneficial. If you manage to win enough challenges, everybody (with the exception of the seriously thickheaded) gets it into their heads that they can't beat you, and are much less inclined to try. So you become an astronomical threat, but there's absolutely jack-all that anybody can do about it.
Mind you, I hate playing the astronomical threat game. It's a lot of work, and it tends to piss people off. Plus, y'know, that whole "marked by the devil" thing I've got goin' on. It also doesn't help that Stephenie knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was marked for elimination the round that Misty left, so if anybody's going to flip over there, it's her. I think Cascade is probably done for, and all I can do is surf on the wave that that ship'll create when it goes down.
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Post by Host on Feb 27, 2013 12:34:48 GMT -5
Around what time did you see Karla in the chat Jessica? Her account hasn't been on in 24 hours so that means someone must've posed as her.
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Post by Jessica on Feb 27, 2013 15:15:09 GMT -5
I saw her on AIM. As I said earlier, I know her outside of the game.
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