Round 8 Confessional

[Hannah]

Oh my merge.

First off I have to say thank GOD for it. Purple rocks, although they kept me safe, booted Quincy, and without him and and Beau would have been up shit creek without a paddle. So the merge automatically gave me hope on that front. I mean just reuniting with people that I have naturally got along with better is a breath of fresh air. Tess, my #1, thank god I have her back with me, because I need her in this game. That is one person I have always trusted since early in the game, 100%, and will continue to trust, 100% (as long as she doesn't pull a Jessica on me).

Then Gloria and Quincy come back from Purgatory. Good...in a sense. Gloria is distant, and weary of me I believe, even though I had NO role in her being voted out (although I wish I did). Quincy coming back was both a blessing...and a curse. I feel like, yes, Quincy does trust me a bit because of how honest I had to be with him come last round, but then he also probably still has a lot of doubt in me just based on our past together.

Right now my preferable alliance would be 'Napa' strong, but I don't see that going to well. Wyatt and Tess did quite the amazing job outcasting not only Luca, but also Gloria from our group, so the chances of that coming together are slim. Myself, Beau, and Tess however...we seem solid, a group that can go far together, and Beau is quite a good lapdog, so it'd be nice if that group could stay together. Add Wyatt into the equation...that is 4...and 6 is all that is needed for a time in this situation. I think if me and Tess work our magic (mostly Tess) then we can bring in Yvette and Stephenie, and that could form a 6 strong group. Hell 1 more vote and that is a 7 person majority. I mean a lot of that is speculation, and it is very possible that it will not happen BUT there must always be hope.

Beau however has been getting on my nerves. Yes I understand that I have unjustifiably screwed him a few times in this game. I didn't tell him about Nick being voted off, I didn't tell him about my real power, but I feel that I have more than made up for it. Hell it if wasn't for me, he would have been voted off last round, probably lost purgatory, and no longer even be in the game, so I feel like some gratitude is needed. But do I get any? No...I get the cold shoulder, and I constantly have to fight to gain his trust, and its such a draining experience. I hate that I am in an alliance with him to be quite honest, because he is just SUCH an emotional player, and yes I am an emotional player too, but I know when shit hits the fan that I have to tuck my emotions in my purse and put on my game face...Beau however just grabs his stiletto heels and trots around like he is a girl on her period. It is SOOOO over the top, and SOOOO unnecessary. Half the time he is calling me out in front of other people, basically making me look like the biggest scum on the face of the earth, and soon its going to make me fed up.

He can quickly become the sheep for slaughter if he doesn't mind himself. That is not to say I have ultimate control at this point in the game, but hey, I've turned shit around in my favor several times before, who's to say I can't do it again to send Beau packing later. Now don't take this as if I don't like Beau or don't trust him, because I do like him and do trust him quite a lot, he is just tiring me.

My best bet right now is to win immunity. I have an advantage, as minimal as it may be, which ups my odds to win immunity. Winning immunity right now is PIVOTAL, not only does it keep me safe, but if a tie vote does somehow occur, then I'm safe regardless of what goes down at this tribal council, and that in and of itself gives me some leeway to control the votes this round.

My target? Jessica. She threw my name in the mud and made me out to look like some horrible bitch last round, and she hasn't apologized for it. Ya, I've given her some fake speech about how I'd 'LOVE' to work with her still, and how everything was a big 'MISUNDERSTANDING' but I know I can trust her as far as I can throw her. Shes a 100 pound devil with a fake Cheshire smile.

That's all for now. Hopefully more to come after the challenge results, when I have more information to go off of, and when I have talked to more people.

[Hannah]

Oh lord. Like I said in my judgement question, my power was not wasted. Although I wish I had taken home immunity, and I'm a bit pissed that I didn't, rather not have a power than do at this point, because at this point, powers make you a marked man, and that is exactly what I do NOT want to be.

What I do now? I do not know. I've not talked to many people this round, I've been busy in life, and its really hurt my game to be completely honest. People pointing me out as having the 'most alliances' and as the person who is 'in control' that scares me and puts a HUGE target on my back. It makes people see me as a possible power player, and I really do not want, nor do I need a bigger target on my back than I already have.

There is no more purgatory, when push comes to shove, if I get voted out now, I'm gone. I need to work any magic I can come tomorrow, hope and pray people have my back, and just PRAY that Tess has connections that I have yet to form with people. I think come tomorrow I need to just work my magic, show how much I want to stay, and just talk, talk, talk to people. If Gloria and Quincy come to our side, I feel good about my chances, if they do not, oh do I feel like I may be getting voted out.

I'll need to talk around, and figure out what is the best path to take at this point, because I do feel very vulnerable without an immunity necklace around my neck...but we'll see.

[Hannah]

This game. It is something to say the least. It is definitely me or Jessica getting voted out this round. How fun. Two players who give their all and who are in a sense 'power' players, are the two on the chopping block. I need to hope that at this stage of the game I have made connections with enough people that they are open to working with me and not with formed Cascades. I mean to be completely honest, I don't even have much control in this game, a lot of decisions I let fall back onto Tess rather than myself. But I mean, the whole 'power' player role could help me...if I make it to the end. I can use the argument that I was a constant target come merge, and that people always wanted me out. But I will have to get past this tribal council...who knows if that will even happen.

I talked to Gloria tonight, and she is quite receptive to working with me. Or at least that is what she is telling me. She could be lying to me, but I feel like...given my past with her, she is being honest and true. She says that she refuses to vote for me this coming tribal council, but she would vote Beau given the chance. That is fine by me. I no longer 'owe' Beau anything. Protecting him at the last tribal council was all the payback I needed to give him. Would I vote Beau? No. Not at this point. But if Gloria is really with me, if push comes to shove, I would love to take her to the finals, nobody wants to win (at least not at this point).

Gloria told me that Quincy really trusts me. That makes me feel better about the position I am in. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but hopefully he does. I am asking him to use his idol on me this round, which is good only up to the final 10, because that would guarantee me safety, which I would really...obviously... appreciate at this point.

Right now I pray that my alliances stay strong. Me, Tess, and Beau are solid it seems in voting Jessica. I believe if that is the case Wyatt will come on board. Making that a 4 voting block. If Stephenie and Yvette are along for the ride, and true about the final 4 prospect with myself and Tess, they should vote with me, hopefully. That would be 6 and 6 is half the people voting, which could be a solid block to vote with me. I don't know. At this point I am putting a lot of faith in other people, but that is all I can do. That and pray. Hopefully I will live to fight another day.

[Hannah]

Did Hannah pull a trick out of her ass?

Maybe.

Apparently, from what I am hearing, Cascade couldn't garner the votes to get me out so they had to switch targets from me to Beau. I am not sure if I believe that 100%, but still, with people now telling me there arent going to be votes on me, it makes me much more easy. That is one of my biggest strengths though, the connections and bonds I have. I am not like Beau, who goes around and pisses people off. I am not like Gloria, who as funny and likable as she is, goes around and pisses people off. I try my best to be friendly and nice to everyone who is in the game, and I'm feeling like the little nice Hannah is paying off to some extent.

My fear this round? Cascades could easily be voting me and just trying to get a few Napa to throw a vote to Beau. That would cause a bit of mayhem, and hell, it could easily result in me being voted out. This may just be paranoia, but rather be paranoid than feel safe (like I did at the Dallas boot) and be blindsided.

Gloria and Quincy for some reason have been really good to me though. I am a bit shocked by it. As hard as it is to believe, I never thought I would be able to trust either of them. Either they are playing a great game, or my gut, which has been right so far in this game, is telling me the trust, they can be trusted, and I should consider taking them far into the game. I mean hell, if I did somehow take them to the end, if I cant win against two people who have already been voted out/rocked out of the game, who can I win against. Beau maybe. But ya, I think just about anyone could beat him.

Steph and Yvette however, they have been...sketchy to say the least. Neither have said much of value to me, and apparently they have been working on Gloria to vote out Beau this round. Both have assured me they are voting Jessica, but are tossing votes to Beau (apparently) and that pisses me off. If it ends up being true, the final 4 deal involving all of us, that will be null and void, and those two can be put up on the chopping block if need be.

Hopefully however everything will fall into place, and everything will be ok. I always look at the brighter side of things, unless there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But I see a little glimmer of light, so Im keeping my hopes up. Hopefully there will be a round 9 confessional to look at, if not, its been fun!

[Hannah]

Oy Vey. The Cascade vote it back on poor ole' Hannah. Looks like that trick I pulled out of my ass was nothing but a pile of shit. But oh well. That just makes me want to try and fight harder. Do I have the votes? Who knows, I have had a bit of people lying to me every bit of the way this round, so I can't take many people on their word. But I have to hope that I have garnered the votes to keep myself safe this round. All I need it to make sure there are not 6 votes on me. If there are not 6 votes on me come to Judgement, I feel safe and calm going into the vote. But I do not know that for sure that I do not have 6 votes on me.

Lets break it down...like I always do. I know for sure that I have Tess, myself, Beau, and Wyatt with me. that is 4. Luca is the person who told me the vote switched back from beau to me, so I feel like...why tell me if he was just going to vote me out, I feel like he is with me...and that is 5 votes on my side to vote Jessica out. Gloria told me that she did not and would not vote me off this round, but how can I be certain where her head truly lies, its possible she is just putting on an amazing act. I want to trust her, but lets just mark her in the maybe column. Then we come to Quincy, I hope and pray that he is with me, but I obviously cannot be sure. I asked him to use his cute little idol on me, and I have no idea if he will or not...hopefully he will, but who knows, he has a mind of his own, and if it doesnt benefit him, he wont use his idol on me, that would be dumb of him. Lets just sit back and hope that I have done enough so he does trust me and he feels the need to keep me 100% safe, and he uses his idol on me. Lets pray.

In my voting thread I said every rose has a thorn. How do you kill a flower? Cut it from it's stem, and watch it die. The only tricky thing about it though is that Jessica has so many thorns protecting her, its hard to get to the stem to cut her away from the game. If this move goes through and pays off, I owe myself, and a bunch of my allies a pat on the back. If it doesnt go through...I have to hang my hat, because its obvious I let my delusions cloud how I played this game.

Less than half a day to go now until the vote. One of the top players will stay, one will go. Hopefully I have a little fight left in me that pushes me over the top, and helps me stay...but who knows. Nobody ever knows...